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October 13th, 2011
08:57 pm - Holy fuck, it's been awhile...
I just read my last update, with my stats being:
Age: 31
Weight: 238
Pant size: 22
Attitude: Defeated and brow-beaten
Those have changed considerably, as not only have I wrestled myself out of the clutches of the job that was making me miserable (and therefore, eating crap) and into a massively better work environment (and with MUCH better pay...Jesus, I actually have real savings now....), but along with this life change I decided to bust ass and undo AAALLLLLL the damage that depressing time in my life had inflicted. I work out twice a day, 2 hours at the gym in the morning, and then a run on my lunchbreak. I lift weights. And while the number on the scale isn't going down as fast as it normally would, my clothes fit better, my skin looks awesome, and I feel better than I have in longer than I can remember - all of this is because I've replaced fat with more muscle than I had before.
Last Saturday, I ran a 5k for the Berea Animal Shelter, and beat my time from 2009 by 3 minutes.
One thing I'm certain of about myself is no matter how hard or far I fall down, I can and will always do whatever I can to pull myself back up, keep going, and even end up a little better than before I fell in the first place. :-)
My stats now?
Age: 32
Weight: 209
Pant size: 16
Attitude: I can fucking conquer ANYTHING.
Stay tuned, I'm not done yet. ;-D
Current Mood:  determined
Current Music: "Zombie Stomp" - Ozzy
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October 8th, 2009
02:55 pm - Monster Mutt Dash
Saturday morning, I will be running my first race EVER!
Never thought I'd be doing such a thing! It's a 5k to benefit the Berea Animal Shelter. If you wish to sponsor/donate to their cause, go to:
http://www.active.com/donate/bereaarf2009/lauramatis
It's so weird...just 2 years ago (and almost EXACTLY 2 years ago to the DATE - I started this whole weight loss project on 10/11/07), I couldn't run 3 feet and my knees would scream at me if I even walked up the 5 steps to my apartment. Now? I'm RUNNING 3 miles everyday like it's nothing.
Fuck yes :-) Nothing beats this feeling. I feel like I wrestled my life back from some monster that had kept it captive. And I did it all on my own, no drugs, no surgeries, no fads, no help from anyone or anything but my own determination.
I've climbed that mountain. Nothing but honest, hard work went into this. And it's something that no one will ever be able to take away from me. :-)
Current Mood:  enthralled
Current Music: "You Better Run" - Pink Floyd
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September 24th, 2009
08:00 pm - PROGRESS PICS!!!!
*Unrolls Giant Medeival Scroll*
Presenting......
THE BEGINNING....
......
AND NOW, at 185LBS (the smallest I've ever been in my adult life)!!!
*jumps up and down with joy - and no fear of breaking the floor, lmao!!*
Current Mood:  accomplished
Current Music: "I'm Too Sexy" - Right Said Fred
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September 10th, 2009
09:22 am - From 310lbs and barely being able to walk 1 mile to 187lbs and RUNNING A 5K!!
I.
AM.
SO.
EXCITED!!!
I think I've reached another pretty unexpected milestone.
I stopped into Truffles yesterday on my way home from work to say "hi" to my friend Jefferson. He pointed me in the direction of these fliers for a 5k to benefit the Berea Animal Rescue Fund, which is a cause I've always tried to give to in some little way or another. The Berea Animal Shelter is a great no-kill shelter that vaccinates, spays/neuters, and helps homeless animals find homes.
Sooo....
On October 10th (9 days AFTER my 30th birthday!! EEEP!!), I will be running to benefit them. In my first race. MY. FIRST. RACE.
EVER.
Not even 2 years ago, I wouldn't have even imagined entering something like this, or anything that involved moving quicker than a walk. It wasn't that long ago that climbing the 5 steps it took to get into my old apartment made my knees scream for mercy.
Now? A 5k? That's 3.1 miles, which is .1 of a mile longer than what I run on my lunchbreaks. That's it? Just do that for $20, and people will donate money to save our furry friends? Hell, why didn't you say so?!? Of COURSE I'll do it!! Why wouldn't I?
I can't even tell you how excited I am!!!! x-D
So, as I've posted on my FB, my other LJ, and my MySpace:
If you don't want to run but want to help me help them, you can sponsor me at ...http://www.active.com/donate/bereaarf2009/lauramatis
If you want to run too, go to www.hermescleveland.com.
Current Mood: YYYAAAYYY!!!
Current Music: "Eye of the Tiger" - Survivor
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September 9th, 2009
04:18 pm
Updated progress picture coming very, VERY soon! Stay tuned for a LauraTheRed update near YOU!
x-D
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: "Don't You Forget About Me" - Simple Minds
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August 28th, 2009
11:15 am - A New Low....
After artfully dodging this week's speed bumps and temptations such as after-funeral sandwiches, bread and spinach dip at Matt and Leslie's game night (the trick is to smoke while everyone else is diving into the chips, salsa, and cupcakes...I don't like smoking anymore - HATE it, but in situations such as these it keeps my mouth and hands busy - just as bad for you but with much fewer calories), and my Aunt's suspiciously envious (but failed) attempts at getting me to eat cookies and coffee cake, this morning I stepped onto the scale.
DOWN ANOTHER 3LBS SINCE LAST FRIDAY.
YES.
Yesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!
I can feel it, too. My legs feel like tree trunks from biking to work everyday and running in between, with some Muay Thai thrown in there. Jeans that I couldn't even squeeze into this past winter settle nicely (and rather loosely) around my waist. My arms are smaller and more toned. AND I can feel that I take up a little less space in my bed than I did 3 months ago.
I am SO CLOSE to my next milestone...I can SMELL it! The next milestone is a rather significant one, since it's the actual weight posted on my driver's license. So not only am I striving to look better and be healthier, I'm also making an honest woman of myself. ;-)
According to my driver's license, I've been 180 for the past 12 years. Even when I was 310. But the funny thing is is that the ladies (or gentlemen, but most of the people where I go are women) at the BMV don't even bat an eye at your stated weight. They probably lie about theirs, too, but actually 12 years ago I was just guesstimating, as I refused (out of fear) to step onto a scale. Also, a lot of people, especially ones that have never had any sort of weight issue, don't really have a clue about height-to-weight ratios or how one would actually look at 5'9 and 180lbs.
After all, to someone who's 5'3 and like, 110lbs, 180 is enormous and pretty much unimaginable for them. Being 6 inches taller than that and built like your average, everyday Scottish/Viking Amazon woman, it's healthy and maybe even ideal. And I only have just a little, tiny bit to go until I'm there and can judge for myself.
Tonight? I think I may just buy myself a cute outfit to celebrate! (and to wear to Missile Command, of course! ;-D)
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: "Amazing" - Aerosmith
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August 25th, 2009
03:58 pm - I WANT TO RIDE MY BI-CY-CLE....!!
Well, here I am again. I know I haven't written in here (or my other journal as well) with any frequency in quite some time. I guess I just kinda' lost the urge (Facebook is like, the LJ KILLER...why write elaborate stories about the goings-on in my life when I can post little blurbs and updates expressing myself and related shenanigans, then have lots more time for MORe shenanigans?).
BUT, since this is my weight-loss journal, I guess I do need to keep this up, as this journey is not yet over.
Since my last entry, my weight has yo-yo'ed pretty substantially. I lost as much as 10lbs, then gained as much as 15. Then lost 5. The got it back. Then lost it again. Then it snuck back on. Then I beat about 8 out of it.
But then, I made probably one of the best investments that I've made in this journey;
I went and got myself a bike.
Now, I had wanted one for quite some time, but also hadn't ridden one since 1993, flying around the hilly, country roads of Spring Lake, North Carolina on my best friend's 10-speed with no helmet, no gloves, wearing cut-off jeans and flip-flops. So I was a little nervous, knowing a whole lot more about the potential dangers at the age of 29 than I was ever aware of (or cared about anyway) at the age of 13. I bought myself gloves and a helmet 2 months before the bike was even in my possession.
But as I got used to it, I decided that it was safe (and even advisable) to ride it to work. This was probably the best thing I've ever done for myself, as not only am I saving all kinds of $$$$$$$$ on gas, I'm riding at least 15 miles a day - and since I got the bike in the beginning of August I've lost almost 9 lbs.
Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to my new best friend:
The Trooper
As for me? Let's just say new progress photos are not far away ;-)
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: "The Trooper" - Iron Maiden
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May 20th, 2009
12:57 pm - Tell me lies, Tell me Sweet Little Lies....
A couple days ago, I made two "Memory Lane" albums on my Facebook page to house some of my oldest and fondest memories, and because a few friends were asking me about all those old pictures that I used to post on LJ all the time.
Going through those photos really, REALLY drove it home to me just how far I've come...and the crazy denial I had let myself fall into for all those years beforehand. It's really easy to lie to yourself, you know?
"Oh, these jeans just shrunk in the wash...maybe I'll get the next size up so they won't do that."
"I'm just having a Fat Day"
"I must be getting closer to my period."
"I'm sad/angry/fill in emotion here, I deserve [insert bad food here]."
"My clothes don't fit, but I still look good..."
Apparently, I spent 8 years lying myself up to 300+lbs. Also? I didn't even KNOW that I was OVER 300lbs (or even close to it) until I stepped onto a scale in October of 2007 the day when I started this project. I never weighed myself. Why?
A.) My mom had thrown out our old scale, and neither one of us were incredibly eager to go out and get a new one, and B.) I was always too afraid to look anyway.
I guess that's another factor: Weighing yourself regularly. It's alot harder to lie to yourself when you have the numbers glaring you in the face every week. It makes you want those numbers to make you happy rather than making you want to curl up crying on the loveseat with a pint of cookie dough ice cream and reruns of The Golden Girls. I do this and go one step further and take measurements, especially now. Now I'm at a semi-normal weight for my height, so when I work out and build muscle, this sort of fucks with the number on the scale. So when that number gets me a little sad, I use the measurements to reassure me that I'm not blimping out despite running 3 miles a day among my other activities.
Here's the compare/contrast that really made me think of that whole "lying to myself" thing:
April 2006 celebrating ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) gothictier's new house on Coutant.
Orie and me in the basement of the Chamber in 2005...BEFORE we were together:
Now, here's two pics that Jeremiah took of me just this past weekend. The ironic part? THIS is what I THOUGHT I looked like BACK THEN (lies, sweet little lies...):
But seeing this also just fuels the already raging fire inside my chest that I WILL NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN. Ever. Moreso? I'm going to keep going until I'm 100% satisfied with myself. That's one emotion that I've never felt, but I will. Nothing will get in my way of that.
And to punctuate this statement, I'm now going to go on my daily lunch break jog. Bye! :-)
P.S. I'm jogging up to the bike shop after work today to possibly purchase a new ride. Wish me luck! (No...REALLY...WISH ME LUCK. I haven't been on a bike since I was 13... :-O)
Current Mood:  Awesome
Current Music: "Little Lies" - Fleetwood Mac
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May 14th, 2009
10:15 pm - Pain and Exhaustion
Right now, I'm at Truffles completely dragging ass.
During my rather chaotic and annoying work day, I took my daily 3 miler. Now, my tummy has been bothering me lately, and I could probably also blame this on the 7 (yes...seven...) martinis I had downed at Lava the night before, but by the time I was halfway done with my jog my stomach felt like I had swallowed burning coals. It was so unbearable at times that I almost stopped running (I NEVER stop). I pushed myself to keep going back to work, figuring that the faster I got back, the faster I could get to sit down.
And because I'm crazy and felt like I needed to punish myself for last night's indulgence, I went to Dave's for Muay Thai after work. I did pretty well, but my tummy still seemed pissed. Now I'm at Truffles with the kickass Mr. Fred Shade, and nothing is helping it.
Could I have an ulcer?
Ugh. I'm also ready to pass out on this loveseat. I'm sure James won't mind. We cool like that.
Current Mood: ick
Current Music: Beauty is pain, right?
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May 6th, 2009
12:46 pm - Damnit, Mother Nature, you WHORE!
She keeps threatening to rain on my running time. I'll run anyway, don't get me wrong, it's just...annoying.
Also, for the past few days, I've noticed that the 3 miles that I've been running on my lunch break have just gotten too easy. Yesterday, it just didn't feel like enough. I know, strange, right? A year and a half ago I couldn't run 3 feet. If you had told me I'd be running 3 miles I would have laughed at you and rubbed my poor knees at the thought. Now? While my knees still aren't exactly tip-top, they're a hell of a lot better off without carrying the equivelent of 2 people on them.
But I've noticed that my body adjusts to things really fast, and I guess my workout regimen is no exception.
So, I guess it's time to, as the Libertines would say, up the bracket. Instead of jogging to Public Square and back today, I'm going to run down to W9th and back, a pretty solid 4 miles. I've also thought about making a game out of dodging the panhandlers, like the more I have to maneuver around them, the higher score I get, LOL.
On a side note, if I were a panhandler, why would I bother a JOGGER for money? You know, because I always carry lots of cash on my when I go running. It feels really good in my sock....(wtf?).
Anyway - 18lbs down, 10 more to go until my mini-goal is met.
Strong Laura Face.
Rah.
Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: "Wrong" - Depeche Mode
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